Are you a worrier? Are you kept up at night going over and over problems and not finding a solution. Do you have a feeling of dread, a knot in your stomach? Does it feel IMPOSSIBLE to switch off those thoughts???!? Why do we worry so much?
One of the greatest myths I hear – “worry is helpful as it gets me prepared for the future”…
BUT CONSIDER – Does it help you prepare? When you are thinking about the worst outcome – the more likely outcome right now is panic, fear, and avoidance…..
Worry is a mental habit and often happens in the background but can be very overwhelming at times.
Worry tends to grip us in the fears about the future. When you are ‘worrying’ you are thinking about a future that is often negative and eventually leads to the worst possible scenarios. There can be no end to the worry as the brain can generate more and more scenarios.
What are the signs you are in a worry cycle?
The main impact is anxiety and fear, this is felt in the body as agitation and restlessness in the mind. There can also be sleeplessness, irritability, and a difficulty concentrating on what is going on around you as you’re fixed on the images and thoughts in your head of what might happen. You will have many ‘what if???’ thoughts. You might stop doing things that you usually do and believe that the bad future scenario is more likely to happen that leads to lower motivation. When I see people with excessive worry, they are often demoralised and depressed too.
What’s the difference between worry and problem solving?
Worry is being stuck in creating future scenarios and trying to work out how to solve them. This can feel like you are doing something useful and preventing the bad thing from happening – but is this truly the case?
The big difference here is that worry is based on something that hasn’t happened yet. When you are worrying – There can be no solution that you can action effectively when it hasn’t yet happened.
Problem solving is when you have a clear problem that is in your life and you start making steps and plans to resolve it. You go from thinking about actions to taking these actions…
Ask yourself –
- Is this problem happening now – is it currently in my life? = Time to problem solve
- Am I building up hypothetical issues of something that may or may not happen? = This is worry so instead let it go for now and adopt a ‘wait and see’ approach.
If you see yourself as a worrier – is there a cure?
You can learn to identify worry within yourself and then you can choose to have a different response to things that you’re uncertain of or not in control of. Check out some of these ideas:
Letting go of worry – some tips:
- BE AWARE -The first step is to notice you’re worrying. The key way to do this is understand your triggers and also how you feel the anxiety within you. When you are worrying it can be on autopilot so you might become aware of the physical sensations first.
- SLOW DOWN – when you notice the stress response in your body try and stop what you’re doing, pause and ask yourself what’s going through your mind
- BREATHE – slow the breathing down is a good way to re-connect to the here and now rather than the feared future imagined event.
- ASK YOURSELF – is the imagined outcome actually happening or just one possible outcome. If there are current issues to deal with, try and take action or book these in and understand the difference between problem solving and the habit of worry.
Seek out help and support if you are someone who worries excessively and find it difficult to disengage from the anxiety and worry. CBT is a very helpful therapy approach for worry and Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
Please reach out if you want to know more or want help with worry:
Contact me at info@carriedubbertherapy.co.uk
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