Did you know that the average person has between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts a day?
This constant stream of thoughts, like a flowing river, moves in and out of our minds almost without pause. Sometimes, we observe our thoughts from a distance, but at other times, we’re pulled in, swept along by emotions, beliefs, and reactions that keep us immersed.
This “river of thoughts” is more than just a flow of ideas; it shapes how we feel, what we focus on, and how we react. When we get caught in the current of our thoughts—reliving past events, worrying about future ones, or judging ourselves and others—these thoughts affect not only our minds but also our bodies and emotions. Thoughts about a specific meeting, conversation, or event can create stress, raise our heart rate, and even make us feel tense or anxious.
The challenge is that our thoughts become more powerful the more attention we give them, which is where techniques for stepping back and observing the process can be a real game changer.
Observing Versus Being Immersed in Thought
One useful way to approach this “river of thoughts” is to notice the two different perspectives we can take. We can be immersed in our thoughts, swimming in the content, and letting it carry us along. Or, we can step back onto the bank of the river and observe our thoughts flowing by.
Immersion in Thought often happens when we get stuck replaying a past event, worrying about an upcoming deadline, or fearing what others may think. This type of immersion pulls us into a hyper-alert state, or what we call hypervigilance. Our minds set up a sort of flag system, scanning constantly for any potential “bad” or uncomfortable thoughts, in an effort to protect us. But this alarm system often backfires, pulling us back into worry, self-doubt, or stress.
Learning to understand why certain thoughts capture us more than others is a key part of my process when working with clients. Do we replay an event where something went wrong because it feels important to fix it in our minds? Or do we dwell on an upcoming meeting because we believe worry will somehow make it go better? When we uncover these underlying reasons, we gain the flexibility to let go and choose how we respond.
Building the Skill to Step Back
When we learn to observe our thoughts without becoming swept up in them, we start to create a choice. From the bank of the river, we can pause, observe, and decide whether we want to invest energy into those thoughts or shift our attention to something else. This sense of choice is incredibly empowering, as it allows us to respond to our thoughts rather than simply react to them.
To help you develop this skill, I’ve created a short recording called “Dipping In and Out of the River.” This guided exercise is designed to help you practice stepping back, allowing you to experience your thoughts without being carried away by them. The recording encourages you to engage with your thoughts momentarily, then pause and shift your focus back to the present. Over time, this practice can help you feel more in control, enabling you to respond to your thoughts with greater ease and confidence.
Try the Exercise for Yourself!
If you’re ready to start this journey of mindful observation, I invite you to try my Dipping In and Out of the River recording. You can use this exercise whenever you notice yourself getting caught in overthinking. By practising this technique regularly, you can build a habit of stepping back from thoughts that feel heavy or overwhelming.
Listen to the Exercise on YouTube
If you’d like to discuss how to apply this approach further, or if you’re ready to take steps toward changing your relationship with your thoughts, feel free to reach out for a free 30-minute consultation. I’d be happy to explore how we can work together to bring more calm and clarity into your life.
