Emotional and Physical Imbalance
When we are feeling out of balance emotionally, we can find that we are not in balance physically – we feel more pain and our body can ache. We also notice that our sleep maybe out of synch and we are not sure of what it is that is affecting us. It’s often the case then that we can become stuck in over thinking and trying to work out ‘why’. There may not be any one thing. It’s hard then to know how to deal with our current life – how to navigate our daily routines and what we need to pay attention to. It might just be that life is busy there are deadlines, things like caring duties and life events some of which might be happy stressors but stressors nevertheless!
Focusing on What We Want
I am aware of how we can become focused on what is wrong and trying to fix things, but that is only one part of the equation. We also need to focus on what we want to move towards – what are our intentions for ourselves and in the context of those around us. If we are only looking at why we are not happy and why we are feeling stressed, it can be harder to step out of the problem and build a stronger inner world.
A Two-Pronged Approach
So keep in mind a two pronged approach finding a different perspective for the problem at hand but also being present and aware to our inner feelings and knowing what matters to us and want we want to move towards. CBT can be helpful place to start where we can break the negative cycle and often where I start when working with people out of balance. Together we look at current situations and break down any circumstance into what we are thinking and what we are feeling emotionally and in our bodies. We then can see how we are responding to these perceptions and make changes.
Avoiding Negative Perspectives
This is important as we can get stuck in why is this happening to me? why me? There maybe no reason why and we can get caught in a negative perspective and be hard on ourselves. Noticing how we are talking to ourselves can be very helpful to learn to become the wise and kind guide rather than the critical punishing detractor. Take a look at a recent webinar I gave that helps guide you to recognise the inner critic.
Regaining Balance
The other part of regaining balance is to also look at what you want and where you are going. To learn to know what your inner values are and how you are aligning with these. Be in touch with your feelings – stop pause and ask yourself what do you need? If you are not doing the things that matter to you – you are likely to be out of balance. This is another useful part of therapy that encourages this self reflection to know your intentions. What is your aim or goal? What is it that you want to change – this can be emotionally, physically or an external goal.
Setting Helpful Intentions
Just remember If you set your intention on your feelings as many people do who come to see me –‘ I just want to be happier’ – it would be wise to know and understand what are the actions that connect you to the feelings of joy happiness and satisfaction for example. Learn to notice when you experience these feelings and how this has emerged within you. So a more helpful intention might be to be more aware of the feelings as they arise rather than trying to ‘create’ happiness. Another way is to bring into your life more actions and connections that bring happiness along with them.
Practicing Daily Intentions
If you are reading this – take time now to understand what might be your intention for today? What actions will help bring this into being and how will you know?
Practice looking at how you can build up positive intentions for yourself. Set your intentions for the day to start with and notice how your attention becomes diverted in this direction rather than continuing to look at what is still not good or what you feel is wrong.
